Have I really been a mom for 2 weeks? People said it would go by quickly but I'm not sure I'm ready for it to pass this fast! In the amount of time we've been home from the hospital (13 days), we've been to the Pediatrician's 6 times, 7 tomorrow, and I've changed 1 diaper. Poor Connor's Jaundice numbers have continuously gone up and down and now we are dealing with weight gain. As of yesterday he is still below 7lbs and has actually lost half an oz from the last visit. The poor thing has so many pricks on his heels it's like he was used as a pin cushion. As for the 1 diaper I must admit I've been extremely spoiled. Anytime he has a dirty diaper Tim jumps at the opportunity to be helpful and changes it. Grandma Glenda has done a couple as well. It's been 2 weeks filled with loved ones stopping by and an extreme amount of help and support from Tim and mom. Tim and I have always been a team, but it has been amazing to see the way he is selfless and doesn't hesitate to jump in and help, and this includes 2am diaper changes. As for mom, there have been days we wouldn't have survived if she hadn't stopped by in the morning to let us take a nap. It has been such a blessing as well to have yummy meals provided for us. We can't thank everyone enough for being so thoughtful and caring in preparing such delicious feasts for our little family. I am in awe of this little creation. I can sit and stare at him for hours. I get so excited when his eyes are open and we sit and have Mommy/Connor time. It is amazing how he looks for me when he hears my voice. That alone is one of the most endearing aspects of being a mom. I was discussing with Tim the other day how nursing is another one of those endearing moments. To see how innocent he is, how much he relies on Mommy for his development, and then just relaxes in my arms is amazing. To know that the Lord created all of this makes it even more awe inspiring.
Connor's little belly is still learning how to do it's job and he tends to get very uncomfortable after feeding. He has so much gas that builds up that he gets very miserable. Tim and I can end up rocking and burping him for up to an hour. It seems that we get so used to bouncing him, that even when we aren't holding him, we are bouncing. We've only had one night of absolutely no sleep that we consider ourselves lucky. Connor allows us to sleep from about 10:30pm until 2:30am, and then we do another feeding around 5:30/6. Not bad I think. But, like I said before, it's the burping after that can get tiring. Hopefully his gassiness will pass soon, the little bubbles hurt his tummy and hurt my heart.
It's been fun accepting so many visitors and for Connor to meet such special people. All of his Great Grandparents have met him and have been charmed, as well as near and dear friends. It is amazing to see how a little baby can bring such joy to the people they encounter. Tim and I think he is pretty incredible, but to see other people fall in love with him is so special.
I was lucky to have Tim home the past two weeks, and I'm sad he had to go back to work yesterday. The absence was definitely noticed. My partner was missing. I tried to send him pictures on his phone to help him feel like he was here...it only made him want to come home. It also makes the reality of me going to work only seem that much sooner. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm dreading it. I can't believe how much Connor has grown and changed in 2 short weeks, I don't want to miss a moment. He is such a little miracle, how lucky we are!
I'm glad to hear that you have a strong support network. Especially for these first few weeks, they're such a help.
ReplyDeletePeter was jaundiced at birth and for the first 2.5 weeks. All four of us Gossett kids were jaundiced at birth (I was the worst of us), as well as my dad. Both Dad and Peter have something called Hyperbilirubinemia, aka Gilbert's Disease, which just means chronic jaundice.
Peter was on the bili blanket for those first few weeks. In fact, the day after we took him home, we were back in the hospital because his bili count was 16+. Peter had to undergo intensive phototherapy for three days—when I was a newborn, I had to have phototherapy for five days. Even though I was assured that Peter's hyperbilirubinemia was a relatively minor thing, Brittany and I were still upset about it. I felt like I was coming face to face with the sovereignty of God.
It was nerve racking at the time, and we lived and died by the bilirubin count each doctor's visit. Peter's heels looked like pin cushions too, and he had a bit of trouble gaining weight. But, now, it's all water under the bridge. Peter finally had a bilirubin count under 10, and we stopped the bili blanket; it was such a relief.
Take heart: the jaundice is exactly where God wants it to be, and it will go up and down exactly as God wants it to. Connor will start filling up diapers exactly when God wants him to, and he'll gain all the weight God wants him to gain. As parents, we just watch God display his glory through this little 7lb miracle.