2 Weeks Old

Have I really been a mom for 2 weeks? People said it would go by quickly but I'm not sure I'm ready for it to pass this fast! In the amount of time we've been home from the hospital (13 days), we've been to the Pediatrician's 6 times, 7 tomorrow, and I've changed 1 diaper. Poor Connor's Jaundice numbers have continuously gone up and down and now we are dealing with weight gain. As of yesterday he is still below 7lbs and has actually lost half an oz from the last visit. The poor thing has so many pricks on his heels it's like he was used as a pin cushion. As for the 1 diaper I must admit I've been extremely spoiled. Anytime he has a dirty diaper Tim jumps at the opportunity to be helpful and changes it. Grandma Glenda has done a couple as well. It's been 2 weeks filled with loved ones stopping by and an extreme amount of help and support from Tim and mom. Tim and I have always been a team, but it has been amazing to see the way he is selfless and doesn't hesitate to jump in and help, and this includes 2am diaper changes. As for mom, there have been days we wouldn't have survived if she hadn't stopped by in the morning to let us take a nap. It has been such a blessing as well to have yummy meals provided for us. We can't thank everyone enough for being so thoughtful and caring in preparing such delicious feasts for our little family.

I am in awe of this little creation. I can sit and stare at him for hours. I get so excited when his eyes are open and we sit and have Mommy/Connor time. It is amazing how he looks for me when he hears my voice. That alone is one of the most endearing aspects of being a mom. I was discussing with Tim the other day how nursing is another one of those endearing moments. To see how innocent he is, how much he relies on Mommy for his development, and then just relaxes in my arms is amazing. To know that the Lord created all of this makes it even more awe inspiring.

Connor's little belly is still learning how to do it's job and he tends to get very uncomfortable after feeding. He has so much gas that builds up that he gets very miserable. Tim and I can end up rocking and burping him for up to an hour. It seems that we get so used to bouncing him, that even when we aren't holding him, we are bouncing. We've only had one night of absolutely no sleep that we consider ourselves lucky. Connor allows us to sleep from about 10:30pm until 2:30am, and then we do another feeding around 5:30/6. Not bad I think. But, like I said before, it's the burping after that can get tiring. Hopefully his gassiness will pass soon, the little bubbles hurt his tummy and hurt my heart.

It's been fun accepting so many visitors and for Connor to meet such special people. All of his Great Grandparents have met him and have been charmed, as well as near and dear friends. It is amazing to see how a little baby can bring such joy to the people they encounter. Tim and I think he is pretty incredible, but to see other people fall in love with him is so special.

I was lucky to have Tim home the past two weeks, and I'm sad he had to go back to work yesterday. The absence was definitely noticed. My partner was missing. I tried to send him pictures on his phone to help him feel like he was here...it only made him want to come home. It also makes the reality of me going to work only seem that much sooner. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm dreading it. I can't believe how much Connor has grown and changed in 2 short weeks, I don't want to miss a moment. He is such a little miracle, how lucky we are!

And So It Begins

Well, we made it through the first week and what week it has been. Preparing for Connor’s arrival brought with it a lot of reading books, articles and talking to friends and family that have gone down this path before. However, while I got some great advice, nothing I was told compared to what it was really like.

Standing next to Kristin during the birth, listening to the heart rate drop, and watching the nurses storm our room with a sense of urgency, was something that I was not prepared for. My knees went weak and I felt my stomach begin to turn. It wasn’t until the doctor came in and took full control of the situation, looked me in the eye, and reassured me, that I felt confident in what was happening.

The first time I held my baby boy was a moment that is indescribable. It was by far one of the greatest moments of my life. I knew right then and there that from then on out my life is going to be filled with more joy than I can handle. He wasn’t even an hour old and I was already planning our first trip to Fenway.

So, we have been home an entire week now and it has been interesting. Our poor little guy has been dealing with jaundice so it has been a week full of Pediatrician visits and biliblankets. Inconvenient, yes, but Connor’s wellbeing is first and foremost. Unfortunately for us, there are many side effects of jaundice that have made for some extra challenges. Connor’s appetite has been sporadic, and by sporadic I mean he has the desire to cluster feed from 2am-7am. It seems every hour he is up trying to get mommy’s attention to tell her he is ready to feast. Lots of eating leads to lots of diaper changes (that’s my job; I figured it’s the least I can do). Needless to say, that makes for little sleep. Strangely, I find myself not minding having the extra duties, Connor is more than worth it.

All in all, it has been a challenging week but above all it has been the most amazing week of my life. If this week is any indication of how things are going to be from here on out I consider myself to be one of the luckiest individuals alive.

Happy Birthday 10/11/10

My life changed on Monday, October 11, 2010. I fell in love with another man, but don't worry, Tim is ok with it. In this post I'm only going to focus on the delivery and we will get to these amazing post-birthday days in my next entry.

Sunday: 2:00pm... Casey flies in from Lynchburg for a quick 29 hour trip.

6:00pm Take a deep breath, look around our home, and gather up the courage to leave and head to the hospital emergency room. This is thoroughly documented by my dad's video camera. He may have been videoing and driving.....do not try this at home, people. We valeted our car, loaded ourselves with our belongings, and headed through the hospital doors. We waited for transport in the Emergency Room.

(still) Sunday: 7:oo-ish... Comfortably arranged in my Labor and Delivery room at Memorial Regional Hospital with Mom, Dad, Casey and Kaitlyn in attendance for our regular Sunday Evening Family night activities...that includes watching America's Funniest Home Videos. It was made things a little more normal even though we could hardly focus on it. This is the same hospital that my siblings and I were born in, and I was excited that Connor could be born there too. Originally I was told that if I came in at 3 cm, that they would start my induction Sunday night and the ball would get rolling; if I wasn't, then we would start the process the following morning at 6am. Well, I came in at 3 Cm and 80% effaced. I was super excited, they on the other hand, made the decision to go ahead and wait until morning but they moved it to 5am instead of 6. At that point we knew it was going to be a practically uneventful night and the real excitement would be the next day, so we all kept each other company for a little while and then the family left to all sleep at home. Tim of course stayed with me, and we spent a very restless, butterflies-in-the-belly-night in Labor and Delivery Room 5.
Monday: 4:30am... WAKE UP! I have already done an early morning post on waking up early, so let me get on with the story.

5:00am... Start the Petocin, start the contractions. To be honest I had already been contracting on my own so these contractions weren't much different from some of the ones I had already been having for days. Yet, even with contracting regularly all night I still hadn't progressed.

7:00am-ish... My family gets to the hospital for some sitting around and waiting. We had a new group of nurses and they didn't like having everyone in the room at the same time, so they limited it to 3 guests at a time. Of course Tim stayed by my side the entire time, the other 4 had to take turns....about 30 min visits, switching back and forth all day long. It would go like this... "Hi Mom and Kaitlyn!" we'd talk, pass time, watch TV and then it would switch..."Hi Dad and Casey!" we'd talk, pass time, watch TV and then it would switch..."Hi Mom and Kaitlyn"....ok you get the point. This took place the entire Labor and Delivery process and it was a very unique dance.

9:00am... At this point, even with increasing the Petocin regularly, I wasn't progressing as quickly as we all would have liked, I was still about 3 cm and they decided it was time to break my water. Woah! That certainly changes things. Hello, new and more intense contractions. Those contractions made me very quiet and I would tend to hold my breath and hold Tim's hand.

10:00am... I had dilated to about 4-5 cm and it was time for the GLORIOUS EPIDURAL! Oh welcome to cloud 9! It was weird not being able to feel my legs but in a strange way I could still focus and wiggle my toes. I couldn't feel any sensations in my legs themselves though, almost like an out of body experience when I would touch my hip. It made me a little itchy at first, but oh my goodness I think epidurals are fabulous!!!

11:oo Still not progressing, the nurses decide to try moving me into different positions. Funny thing, when you can't move your legs it's extremely difficult to move your body....they literally had to roll me themselves. So the dance of my family continued; we'd talk, pass time, watch TV then switch.

12:00 At this point my Petocin is up as high as they are allowed to put it without the Doctor's consent and I am still at 4-5 cm. Golly, a lot of build up for a lot of waiting. So they inform us that my Doctor will stop by on her lunch break and they also got her permission to increase my Petocin some more. And the dance continues....we'd talk, pass time, watch TV then switch.

1:15pm Dr. Davila stops by finally and after having been positioned all wopper-jobbered to help me dilate she announced I was at 8-9 Cm and it would be soon. She was heading to another room to deliver a baby and would be back in a little while to see how I was. To say we were excited was and understatement. Things were finally moving along! There would only be need for one more dance exchange.

1:45-ish....."Woah...hey Tim, go look at the monitor, I feel a lot of pressure with these contractions." Tim heads over to check the printout and gets to see the unique pattern of this new series of Labor Pains. They even looked different from my other contractions, a high spike and almost no tail....3 in a row. Within minutes a different nurse walks in (my nurse was assisting with the delivery my doctor had gone to) and asks me if I had felt those contractions. I said I had and she encourages me to do a practice push to see how good I am. At this point Dad and Casey are out of their seats to go and switch with Mom. A lot happens during this dance exchange:

While I am practicing my first push, immediately Connor's heart rate dropped very very low. The nurse yells at me to stop and in an instant my room fills with nurses. I look over at Tim while they are putting an oxygen mask over my mouth and he is reaching for a chair to sit in. I looked at him and told him to pray. The nurses are throwing things, yelling orders at each other, attempting to find Connor's heart beat and unlocking the wheels on my bed to wheel me into the C-Section room. Tim and I are praying as hard as we possibly can. At that moment my doctor comes rushing in putting on her scrubs and immediately takes control of the situation. She looks at Tim and tells him it will be ok while she is ordering a vacuum and attaching an internal fetal monitor to Connor's head. Side-Note: Dad and Casey didn't realize what exactly they were leaving, so in the switch they just said it was Mom and Kaitlyn's turn. So in walks Mom and Kaitlyn during this emergency situation. I look at mom and quickly say that Kaitlyn shouldn't be in here. I didn't know what was going to happen and didn't want her to be a part of a traumatic situation. She heads back out to the waiting room and switches with Dad. Everything was happening so fast the "dancers" didn't really understand what was going on. Dr. Davila looks at me and says "ok let me see how you push". The only thing going through my head was I need to get the baby out so they can help him. If he was out, he would be safe. Even sitting here now writing about it brings tears to my eyes. I was so scared. I had nurses on each side of me, they wouldn't let my mom or Tim hold me, they didn't even want them to take pictures. It took Dr. Davila telling them they could to allow some pictures of the moment Connor came into the world. I pushed for 3 sets. In other words I only took 3 deep breaths with pushing to get him out. Connor was born at 1:59pm. From contractions to delivery was about 15 minutes. They unwrapped the chord from his neck and placed a beautiful crying baby on my tummy. In that moment my heart grew 7lbs and 3oz more. He cried first, the rest of the room was quickly in tow. He was ok. He was more than ok, he was perfect.

Daddy went over to look at him and Connor reached out and immediately grabbed his hand. Tim was hooked.

Our first family portrait.



Finally in my post-delivery room. Content as could be!
This is only day one. We accepted many visitors that night and the outpouring of love and well wishes we received via text messages, phone calls, facebook, and visits touched us more than you could know. I am so blessed to have such amazing family and friends and Connor can't wait to meet you all. Thank you for your kindness, everyone, we really appreciate it. I will soon put together a thorough album on facebook with all of our amazing pictures. This was just a taste.

We have him home now and I will write about it soon. He tested positive for jaundice so we've been dealing with a billyblanket for the past 2 days and it makes little Connor our own little glow worm. At our pediatrician visit today his count was down which means he is off the blanket! wahoo! Now on to a new normal for our sweet little family.

The Final Hours

Hello 4:30am! Here Tim and I are sitting in my Labor and Delivery room anxiously awaiting the arrival of little Connor. I had shown some progress when I came in last night, as in 3 Cm Dilated and 80% effaced but that was not enough for them to start the event. So after our loved ones left Tim and I bunkered down for a very restless night's sleep. I don't think I slept more than 30 consecutive minutes. Part of it was from the anticipation, part of it was the nurse coming in to check my vitals, and the final part was my consistent contractions plaguing me throughout the night. I must say....an IV really doesn't feel very good. I feel like I can barely use my left hand. I can't eat anything except for ice chips and I'm really craving breakfast right now. This tummy is not only contracting but it's also growling! They started my pitocin at 5:00am and I should be on a role now. Hopefully things progress at a continual pace. Casey flew in yesterday afternoon and will be leaving this evening and we are really hoping Connor makes his arrival in time for Casey to meet him. Dad is also here, and he did a very good job documenting our arrival to the hospital with his video camera. Every Sunday night my family does "Family Night" and we were true to form even here. We all sat around my delivery room and talked and watched our regular Sunday evening TV shows. There was something so normal about it in such an un-normal setting for us. 10/10/10 came and went and it looks like our little boy will be coming on 10/11/10 which is already such a beautiful fall day. The news is telling us it's 71 degrees outside, though our room right now is possibly cooler. Everyone seems to think it's chilly in here, but I feel great. No sweating for me right now!!

Tim and I were able to walk out of the house yesterday evening hand in hand. We took one more look around our home and knew that life would never be the same. The next time we walk through our front door we will have a wonderful new addition to our household. There is always a slight fear of the unknown, but I know Connor will be such a blessing in our lives. We have been praying for him for so long now, I'm just ready to meet him!

AWK8 Baby Shower

Today I was thrown a beautiful baby shower at my school, Aventura Waterways K-8 Center. It was a sweet assortment of faculty who was able to make it, sans complicated parent conferences and other meetings that were scheduled at the same time. I was so thrilled that Tim, Mom, and Kaitlyn were able to be there as well! The social committee set up the cake and drinks in the library and I felt so lucky because mom and Laura Parente-Comsa made it even more special by adding little personal touches, like baseball cupcakes!! The gifts were wonderful and now I'm sitting here looking around my livingroom hoping I can get all of the gifts in order and in place within the next few days. The excitement expressed by my wonderful colleagues really touches my heart, and creates such a family feeling. For those who I work with that read this, thank you so much for the outpouring of kindness shown to us today!

Tim and I with our cake!

Opening the SURPRISE gift from mom. A new Rebel TI SLR Camera! I was floored!

With the fabulous L!

In other news Tim and I had a little art project this evening. I figured that I probably won't ever again be 9 months pregnant in October and thought it would be fun to create a Connor o'Lantern. Here is how it turned out. We had so much fun trying to put it together, Tim was a fabulous painter!

Yes, we have fun in this house!!

Final Doctor's Visit

It's interesting how things become your "last". For example, today was my "last" Monday at school before Connor. I'm looking forward to my "last" Girl's Night B.C. Last night was our "last" Family Night B.C. Tim and I will have our "last" Date Night B.C. Friday. Today was my "last" Doctor's Appointment B.C.! WOW OH WOW! We listened to his heartbeat and she informed us that he was "still there"......so glad the wiggling thing jabbing my ribs wasn't a parasite.

Here are the new and improved stats:

Dilation: 2 Cent
Effacement: 60%

I call that progress!!

I can't believe it's all coming to a close. I went shopping yesterday with Mom for some last min things I hadn't gotten yet and I really felt it gave me some assurance that I am well prepared. I've had major contractions today, but of course not the right kind although super uncomfortable! I'm ready for these practice contractions to be the real thing....well kind of. I say that now, but certainly won't be saying it at the time they come! The school is throwing my shower this Wednesday and I certainly hope I make it to that day. We will see!!