Elusive

We need it, we miss it, it's just out of reach; sleep. In three months we've had one night where we have gotten to sleep uninterrupted until 5am. That was amazing! I've spent most of his life cluster feeding him in the evenings. It started when he was only a few weeks old with 3 consecutive hours of feedings, then went down to 2 consecutive hours, and now I pump twice to make a bottle to put rice cereal in. We change him, we swaddle him, and get rid of all stimuli, and every night we are up at 2am, 3am, and on rare occasions 4am. After that early morning wake-up it's touch and go before we decide to stumble out of bed at 6am. I'm on duty when he wakes up in the middle of the night, and Tim takes over at 6am, then it's his first feeding around 7am. I get dizzy trying to explain it, let alone keep track of it. I've read the books, but all bets are off with his reflux. I'm told they tend to eat less a lot more often. I'm telling you we might have a party when he finally sleeps through the night. All of a sudden "Slumber Party" takes on a whole new meaning, and when you're invited keep your pj's and pillows at home.

He is lasting longer in his walker and Bumbo, and at this point I think he will never crawl but go straight to toddling around. This is not a baby who does "Tummy Time". Don't get me wrong, I try every night to do it, but he screams, turns red, and sweats every time. Being flat is uncomfortable for him because of his reflux, but I will continue to try and maybe one day it will go well. This past week he has also found his lovey. My dear friend and college roommate Hilary sent Connor a beautiful soft bunny when he was born and he is finally taking to it. Granted everything is finding its way into his mouth right now, including fingers, but he lights up with his bunny. As far as fingers, he prefers his hands over anything else and you can hear the air sucking through his lips as he tries to shove his hands as far into his mouth as he possibly can. It's his favorite game to try and figure out how far he can get them in each time, and which finger will taste the best today. I do my best to fish out his little fists, but they are like magnets drawn to the slobbery toothless chasm on his face.

We are truly enjoying every waking moment we have with him. His personality is infectious and I ache when I leave him to go to work. I can handle sleepless nights if I know I will wake up to him and Tim.