Elusive

We need it, we miss it, it's just out of reach; sleep. In three months we've had one night where we have gotten to sleep uninterrupted until 5am. That was amazing! I've spent most of his life cluster feeding him in the evenings. It started when he was only a few weeks old with 3 consecutive hours of feedings, then went down to 2 consecutive hours, and now I pump twice to make a bottle to put rice cereal in. We change him, we swaddle him, and get rid of all stimuli, and every night we are up at 2am, 3am, and on rare occasions 4am. After that early morning wake-up it's touch and go before we decide to stumble out of bed at 6am. I'm on duty when he wakes up in the middle of the night, and Tim takes over at 6am, then it's his first feeding around 7am. I get dizzy trying to explain it, let alone keep track of it. I've read the books, but all bets are off with his reflux. I'm told they tend to eat less a lot more often. I'm telling you we might have a party when he finally sleeps through the night. All of a sudden "Slumber Party" takes on a whole new meaning, and when you're invited keep your pj's and pillows at home.

He is lasting longer in his walker and Bumbo, and at this point I think he will never crawl but go straight to toddling around. This is not a baby who does "Tummy Time". Don't get me wrong, I try every night to do it, but he screams, turns red, and sweats every time. Being flat is uncomfortable for him because of his reflux, but I will continue to try and maybe one day it will go well. This past week he has also found his lovey. My dear friend and college roommate Hilary sent Connor a beautiful soft bunny when he was born and he is finally taking to it. Granted everything is finding its way into his mouth right now, including fingers, but he lights up with his bunny. As far as fingers, he prefers his hands over anything else and you can hear the air sucking through his lips as he tries to shove his hands as far into his mouth as he possibly can. It's his favorite game to try and figure out how far he can get them in each time, and which finger will taste the best today. I do my best to fish out his little fists, but they are like magnets drawn to the slobbery toothless chasm on his face.

We are truly enjoying every waking moment we have with him. His personality is infectious and I ache when I leave him to go to work. I can handle sleepless nights if I know I will wake up to him and Tim.

Development, Month 3

As I sit here and write this my little Connor-boy is sitting in his walker attempting to push himself around. He's able to slightly scoot himself backwards because he can just reach the floor with his little toes. I am in complete awe. There is not a day that goes by that I am not amazed. He loves to stand on his legs, and though he probably wont last too long in the walker (maybe 10 min.) he is completely content to sit independently and show his mommy how strong he is. Is this the same baby we brought home 3 months ago? That baby came home attached to a billyblanket and was so tiny. This little baby, though he still deals daily with his severe reflux, is growing like a weed and talking up a storm. So maybe he's not sleeping through the night, and maybe he eats every 2 hours, but we are no less thrilled with how far we have all come!

This past weekend was MLK Day and we took the opportunity to head outdoors and enjoy ourselves. Our first stop was Knaus Farms in Homestead. This has long been a Petersen tradition and though the strawberry field's were not open, we still enjoyed the amazing sticky buns and milkshakes. Everyone was happy!

I have to stay away from dairy while I am nursing Connor because he can't process the proteins, and I suffered through watching everyone else savor the homemade milkshakes. Thick, frothy, chocolatey, filling, homemade milkshakes. Ok, so I was fine with everyone enjoying their share, but now I'm regretting it!

Our next stop was Miami MetroZoo. When we started out it was just slightly drizzling. We thought we would only stay a little while and then head out. Halfway around the first loop it started to pour!!!! There was no turning back. We were all ready to leave but the exit seemed to grow legs and retreat every time we thought we were close. Our map disintegrated with the water, and with their new construction the way we used to go to leave was closed, talk about being caught out in the rain! It was no longer stop and look at the animals. It turned it to glancing in their general direction as we raced by...oh look bears, oh look rhinos, oh look no way out! We did enjoy the aviary, and to be honest the animals were actually really active out in the rain. They seemed to be enjoying their shower! Daddy did a good job keeping Connor completely dry, and we have a funny story to tell him when he's older. "Hey, remember that time we went to the zoo in the rain...."
Connor is trying all sorts of new things. From his walker, to rice cereal, to his Bumbo. He loves his bumbo, and his walker, and I'm going to wait a little while longer to try rice cereal again. Rice cereal creates the worst smelling gas I think I have ever experienced. I only put a few teaspoons in a bottle I pumped (I was too afraid to try a whole tablespoon), and not only did it not help his sleep it gave him gas. We will try again at 4 months. As for the Bumbo, it's along the same lines as his walker. He loves to use his muscles and be independent! If you hold him facing out he will try to sit up on his own! Next we're going to find him at the gym lifting weights!
Last but not least I would like to leave you with his 3 month old picture......

No caption necessary:

3 Month Old Daddy

Three months old. Has it really been three months since the most amazing moment of my life? Have I really been a dad for three months? I spent much of 2010 running the gamut of emotions wondering how life was going change once our little man got here and after three months, despite some rough moments, I wouldn’t want it to be any different.

Through this rollercoaster that has been the last three months, I have learned a lot. For instance, a good night's sleep has not visited me in some time, but somehow I manage to function. Also, when you get used to waking up at 2am and sleeping with the closet light on and a white noise machine, you find that all of a sudden you can’t sleep when those things are not present. Most importantly however, I have learned that no matter how bad/hard/junky, [insert adjective here] day you have, coming home a seeing your son smile at you when you walk through the door instantly makes it all worth it.

I won’t lie, there are still times when I want nothing more than to sleep past 6am on Saturday or Sunday, or even get 5 consecutive hours any night of the week. There are times when I am not sure how I am going to get up in the morning and make it through the day. There are times when I would love to come home from work and play Flight Simulator or something of the sort. However, those thoughts are short and fleeting. No matter how much I want or think those things the moment I look at Connor, all I want to do is hold him, play with him, or stare at him.

When I look back at the past 3 months and think of all we have gone through I can mark these three months as some of the best three months of my life. This past Christmas was the best one ever. This years Christmas/New Year trip to Disney was the best one ever. I can go down the list and it will be the same result; Halloween, Thanksgiving, and even Kristin's birthday. Having my beautiful baby boy has changed my life for the better, more than I ever anticipated. There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for what he has blessed us with and ask Him to give me the strength to lead this precious little boy in His will. I understand what I heard growing up so many times from so many adults: “Just wait until you have kids!” Well, I have one now, and I understand. Life changes, but I can honestly tell you, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Today I find myself realizing that I am the luckiest guy on this planet! Adventure and trials continue to lie ahead but I feel more energized than ever because now I know what I am working towards. A better life for my loving and amazing family!

Christmas Miracles and a New Year

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.~Burton Hillis

I have a baby. A real, sweet, cooing, adorable, loving baby. That "C word" is all but a thing of the past. Connor still has belly problems, and we still have choking episodes, but the marathon hours of crying hasn't happened in weeks. That my friend is a real Christmas Miracle. The Lord gave me a real gift this Christmas, the ability to sit back and relish in my sweet precious little boy. No gift can compare to that. He still doesn't sleep through the night because of his belly but he does have a personality, and everyday I look forward to what he's going to do and how we will interact with each other. This may be vain, but I LOVE how he lights up when he sees me. I look forward to coming into any room where he is.

With Christmas brings family, and it was a joy to have Grandma and Grandpa Hebebrand come and fawn over him. They took every moment they had here to love on him. He responds well to being held by anyone and those who get to always get smiles from him and cooing. What a sweet boy. I have a feeling he will use that against me one day.....I know it's going to be hard to say "no" to him.

Connor had a wonderful first Christmas. He was in awe of all of the pretty lights, and I have the urge to keep our Christmas tree purely to keep him entertained! We started a new tradition at our house this year, and I made a lovely Christmas Eve dinner to be shared with my family. It turned out fine, except for my undercooked potatoes, but I guess that gives me something a challenge to make better for next year! I made a roast....a real roast. I was nervous, but everyone seemed to like it, and to be honest it was truly about the company.
Here we are by our tree after the Christmas Eve Candlelight Service. Connor's a stud!
Here is Connor-boy ready for Santa to come. No, this year we didn't set out any cookies, but I'm sure next year it will be a bigger deal! Yay for crescent shapes missing from sugary goodness!

I thought Connor wouldn't be as aware of presents considering he is only 2 months old, but I was pleasantly surprised. Of course he couldn't open them, but when we showed him the presents he would definitely respond. Each gift was exciting. We didn't go nuts, just a few things for him, but enough for him to have something to play with over the next few months.

Here is Santa Baby smiling during his nap. Talk about loving Christmas!

Mommy and Daddy enjoyed Christmas too. Mom surprised us with an iPad and accessories and we have now officially played Scrabble everyday since the 25th. Marathon sessions, played by all....hours of fun I assure you.
To ring in the new year, and since we go every year for the Christmas decorations, we went to Disney World. This is a milestone in this Disney fanatic family. We thought we were crazy to be heading in on New Year's Eve, and it was certainly crowded (Magic Kingdom reached capacity and closed by 10:15 am), but we all had a ton of fun. I got a little teary eyed on Main Street USA knowing that we will have many more memories made here, and I can't wait until Connor can really enjoy it.

FIRST STOP.......MEET MICKEY!
He lit right up when he met Minnie, and then wasn't too sure about Mickey. He really likes the ladies. What a charmer!

How fun! We actually got to take him right on Buzz Lightyear. I can honestly say I didn't see a single bit of the ride (evidently there are changes to some of the creatures you shoot) because I was so preoccupied with taking video and pictures. Three cars of crazy people taking pictures of a little baby must have been hysterical to watch. To be a fly on the wall there....

We also did the People Mover and Haunted Mansion. He loved it all, and took in every moment. I think I was more nervous in our Doom Buggy purely because I couldn't see his face every second. I know it stems from the idea of not being able to help him when he chokes, and until he grows out of it, we're not going to anymore dark places. Yes, we sleep with the closet light on every night. Yes, it's slightly annoying. Yes, it's totally worth it.

What a Spectacle! We got to see the Osbourne lights and Connor loved the show. He also loved when his Aunt Kaitlyn, Uncle Casey, and mommy sang and danced for him to "All I want for Christmas is You". We all know I'm not shy, and I'm more than willing to make myself look like a fool if Connor loves it! "Youuuuuuuuuuuu, baby."
Our little one did so well throughout the day, and was able to stretch his feedings to more than every 2 hours. As the minutes ticked down and the fireworks started he was already fast asleep. The echoing booms of the fireworks didn't stir him and I got to hold him into this new year. What a precious gift we were given in 2010. Tim and I look even more forward to the future and to what 2011 holds. No resolutions this year, just to enjoy every moment and live life to it's fullest. The Lord has blessed us, and we are truly grateful for His love, mercy, and kindness.